As I started transitioning five months ago, I also started learning a LOT about my 4.5 year old daughter's hair (and how we had some very unhealthy hair habits O_o). I think her hair is 4a/b - it is very dry and never has any shine. We've been following a new routine for a month now to include a coconut oil pre-poo/detangle, co-wash, DC and or ACV rinse (once/twice a month), moisturizing and sealing with AVJ. We are banding to stretch, then braiding or twisting, usually into a protective style. However, after one or two days pass, her hair looks very dry and dull. Sprays just seem to make her hair more frizzy due to the water and the curling pudding/gels we've tried have absolutely no hold for her! I'm not sure if it's just that her hair needs to 'get healthy' as we move through this routine, or if there is something else (perhaps a pomade?) that I should use to help hold her frizzy's down and get the shine on.
Thanks for your help!
It's interesting we're discussing this, because I had a situation with my 9 month old daughter and her hair a few months ago that traumatized me, but I'll save that story for another day.;-)
I do have a few questions I think may help you figure out what the issue is.
Have you used a clarifying shampoo on you daughter's hair? If not, I would give this a try. The issue could be that she has product build up and that's why you're not seeing the sheen you're looking for. This will help start a clean slate for your new routine. You can do this either once or twice a month depending on the type of products you're using on her hair. Another thing is, are you diluting the ACV (apple cider Vinegar) before you put it on your daughter's hair? If not, be sure to do so, as using it alone is too harsh and will dry her hair out (among other things). When you say you're moisturizing and sealing with AVJ (Aloe Vera Juice), did you mean that you use that as a moisturizer (great!) and you're using an oil to seal in that moisture? If you're not, you'll need to seal in the moisture with an oil - otherwise the moisture is leaving her hair and you're left with dry, frizzy hair.
When you rinse her hair, be sure to do so with cool water. This helps close the cuticle which seals in the moisture. Doing this, in my experience, has truly helped in giving my hair a nice healthy sheen and reducing the unwanted frizziness. What I would also suggest that you do is after you rinse her hair, apply a little oil to her hair (i.e. olive oil, coconut oil, argan oil etc.) before you add any other products. This will also help give her hair more sheen.
Since the gels/pudding and sprays don't work (not everyone's hair responds well to these), you're on the right track regarding trying a pomade. One that I use and have a lot of success with is Oyin Handmade Burnt Sugar Pomade. This pomade provides sheen, a nice hold and controls the frizz. When I use it, I don't emulsify it to the point where it turns into an oil. I put it on my finger tips, rub a few times and place it on my hair. I'm a bit heavy with it because my hair needs it. Another pomade that works really well, adds sheen, hold and controls the frizz too is Carol's Daughter Loc Butter. I use it in the same fashion as I do the Burnt Sugar Pomade.
A lot of what you're experiencing with your daughter's hair is due to establishing your routine. As her hair gets trained, and you continue with your routine, things will change for the better. Try the things I listed above and let me know what you discovered and how things are working out! Developing a relationship with our hair (actually ANY relationship for that matter!) takes time and patience; this is the frame work for all of our hair and life journeys.
Xs and Os